Mothers suffer too....
Started by Buttercup04 2 months ago
Hello, I was married for 15 years with 3 wonderful children. The short version of the story is he brought me to KS to leave me for my Ex-friend, as we are from CA. We divorced in 2009 and had joint custody of our 3 children without any real issues until 3 years ago. When we divorced the kids were 15,7, and 5. I admit I had been negative at times about their father as he cheated on me with my friend and left me in another state with no support, family, or friends to speak of. I was unable to go back to CA because of the laws here. Of course I wasn't going to leave them here to go back to CA. My frustration was that I had ALWAYS worked while he didn't and was a "stay at home father" (Yeah, not the plan) and I was always the one to provide for my kids in both houses. He was married within a year after our divorce and it was very painful after I had put up with so much of his not working, drinking, smoking pot, not helping with household things, and I found out later multiple affairs, 2 of which were rape, and using drugs. I did not tell my kids any details, but my oldest son knew much more than he let on. He also along with his new wife, made me out to be crazy and have "borderline personality disorder" which at first might have been true, but after a year of therapy it was determined I was wrongly diagnosed because of the criteria used was about my fear of being abandoned. Well, Duh. I have had anxiety/depression most of my life which has a lot to do with my drug addict parents and being bounced around to other people. Now my daughters are 15 and 17 (in a few days) and they won't have anything to do with me. My oldest daughter claims she has panic attacks when she sees me, and I have given up calling, texting, or going to any school functions because I have been ignored or they pretend I don't exist. It is VERY hurtful and I have been in therapy for a few years. We were going to a therapist together (My son is 24 and so he has been out on his own since he was 18), and all of a sudden they didn't want to go and said they didn't like the therapist. They are seeing someone HE wants them to see for the past year or so and I have tried to contact her multiple times and she has talked to me a few times but says she is only dealing with the girls issues and that's all. She didn't know anything about the girls history at all when I told her and I think that is weird to not know. Anyway, the courts won't do anything because they are teenagers and they can choose wherever and whatever they want to do or live. My ex who paid me 237 a month for years is now suing me for over 1,000 a month based on his income and mine alone and I can't afford that! He works part time for min wage pay, and his wife makes over 100,000 a year. So he has taken my kids and now money. I remarried a year ago and we are having to move into a small place to be able to afford paying and all around I am depressed and angry at what he has done to me when I NEVER did anything TO HIM! I never said to my kids to not have a relationship or see their father. I only wanted to move 30 min closer to where I work and so that they could go to better schools when they started high school and it was turned around on me that I told them they could live wherever they wanted when they were old enough and that I am mad because it backfired on me. But that is NOT the case at all. I feel like I am reaching here and there is no way to do anything. But I wanted to see if anyone else has had this situation at all?
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